**In Full Disclosure:** I won’t always give You the Context, DR… You & Your SB can apply Your Own Context to this Story. It’s like playing Madlibs – how You fill in the blanks makes a better AKA funnier AKA more interesting Story, amiright?? And I am a big proponent of “You Figure it Out!”
No, I don’t think You “are Stupid.” To Me personally? It’s unfair to label Anyone as Stupid. Why? Because Everyone is missing some necessary data. Or Context. Or… Experience. So comparing Me to any Other Person – apples to oranges – what gives Me the right to call You Stupid, DR, just because We – You & Me – don’t have the exact same data in Our mental Files? So calling You “Stupid” only makes Me look “close-minded” -or- “unaware” -or- “stuck in a Rabbit Hole.” Which, I usually try to avoid all of these things. [N: I’m getting better at it, the more I practice]
This Story has to do with Me in any situation where I am Connected in this exact moment with any OP. We – Me & Them – are having a discussion. A “meeting of the minds” as it were. All discussions – from My Experience – start out as Conceptual… and depending on how the chat evolves, then incorporates Someone’s Experience data. Here’s an Example:
Me: “A new Indian food restaurant just opened up in the mall…”
You: “Oh yeah! I was there last week; I’ve been there a hundred times! Great food… very authentic!”
Me: *TECH acquiring data as the OP shares data about this Indian restaurant*
You: “We should go! You’ll Love it!”
Now, stop right here. This – THIS – is KEY. The OP is Planting a Seed, here. Assuming They are in My Herd, They’ve already acquired Historical data, about Me – My likes, dislikes, etc. – in the Personnel File. So, verbalizing that I’m gonna “Love” this Indian restaurant is a guess. But also… it Plants a Seed for My SB. “Primes the pump,” basically.
Now, let’s rewind this interaction from the beginning, DR. I want You to ‘see’ how “Anything is Possible” in terms of how things can go with Other People. But Imma switch up the People in this Hypothetical Scenario: Now, it’s Me who is the One who is speaking first.
Me: “A new Indian food restaurant just opened up in the mall… It has great food! We should go!”
The OP: “Bleah! I *hate* Indian food!! I once ate this dish -blah blah blah – it was gross, I wanted to vomit -blah blah…” [N: the “blah blah’s” here mean that the details don’t matter: The Details – in this instance – are irrelevant. Now, if this was a Food Critic’s blog? Sure, the details would be relevant loll]
At the point I get this response from this OP? Now, I am at an Inflection Point. An Inflection Point is such that I can make – Conscious Me, makes – the decision on which path to pursue… each path achieving a different result.
Here’s a few choices, and their associated results.
- “You Dumb@$$! Indian food is da bomb! You don’t know what You are talking about!?!” The result is “I’m damaging My interpersonal relationship with this OP. But, as always,”It Depends” – if I say this while I’m laughing? The OP knows I’m being funny AKA joking. If I say it very seriously, but I am agitated/upset? The OP knows They just triggered Me.
- “I totally get it. That does sound gross! But…”
And I Plant A Seed. I “leave the door open.” I leave the Story “unfinished” in this OP’s SB. I can say something like this:
“If You ever wanna try it, We can go together… I’ll let You take a bite of My favorite dish…” I pause a few seconds.
And then I jump – immediately – to a different subject.
[N: this is called “Distraction” – talking about Indian food just now was painful for this OP, due to Their Own IRL Experience of “having that gross meal that one time.” I Plant the Seed to leave the door open for maybe a Future oppty to “try Indian Food again” and then I use any other verbal statement to redirect this OP’s attention… just like leading a dog on a leash: The dog goes where I want the dog to go]
. . .
Conner’s Comments: As with any TECH process, You must be careful, DR, to withhold any evaluation based on “not enough data in the Files.” It’s like getting a Child to try new foods: If You only feed the Kid mashed potatoes one time – and for whatever reason the Kid doesn’t “like” it texture/flavor/not enough salt, etc. etc. – You better Plant a Seed that tells this Kid’s TECH to “just try it three times” and that’s “all You have to do”… Otherwise? You are raising a picky Kid, which will become a picky Adult & have issues Connecting with Other People from an interpersonal relationship perspective. Just a tip.
/CR