Several times a day – because I like to know “What’s Up” in the World – I open a browser on My cell & review the headlines – Yahoo, CNN, etc. etc.
I don’t click to read most of them.
Why? TECH doesn’t need to. Just the headline gives Me enough data – gives TECH enough data – to know if whatever information this article might contain is relevant to Me, My Own Life, or Something “I care about.” And care about doesn’t mean I *don’t* technically care about it – I mean c’mon! I care if a bunch of People just got bombed in the Current Day Russia-vs-Ukraine war, for example – but when I say I don’t care about something it means, “this situation or event does not firsthand affect Me, in My day-to-day IRL Life.”
But – and this is a big butt – that’s way too many words! So TECH likes to short-cut things – TECH refers to this as “efficiency” – and just uses these three small words: “I. Don’t Care.” The End.
But back to My Story.
The Dear Abby letters always trigger PASSION, because PASSION is curious as to how Other Human Beings handle certain situations. TECH enjoys DA letters, too, because I acquire “different perspective” data – and the more TECH has this type of data? The better I become about interacting with the IRL Human Beings I am Connected with, in My Own Life.
So, here’s the headline: “Dear Annie: Should I confront the parents of my son’s bully?” posted 042125 [N: in full disclosure, it’s a Dear Annie article, not a Dear Abby one smh]
TECH immediately shouts: “No!!” In answer to this headline’s question… but Me? I wanna talk about other stuff, not the bully-slash-talk to parents situation. [N: that’s Another Story for Another day]
What I wanna talk about is the Person writing the letter, asking for air-quotes ‘advice.’
And writing in to Dear Annie, Abby or whoever You want is all fine & good – Everyone is the Boss of Themselves, so do what You want in Your Own Life, DR – but know going in that the Answer will only be a Conceptual one.
A Conceptual answer is one that is devoid of any of the associated emotions, Context, and anything else that is the whole of communication. It’s like reading an email Somebody sent to Me: all My SB can do is read the words. All I can do is acquire the technical data. I literally have no way to get anything else.
Unless… I am Connected to this OP who emailed Me & have a verbal convo with Them, IRL. Verbal Connecting with any Other Person affords Me the opportunity to “gain insight” into the situation… and give a better response to it.
But Dear Abby? That’s all Conceptual discussion. At least, it is for Me, the Reader of the article via the Internet. For all I know, Annie received this letter & picked up the phone to have a verbal conversation with this ‘frustrated/worried/concerned for Their Kid’ Parent, first, before finishing/posting this article for the rest of Us out here. Those are UNKN details to Me. And as the saying goes, “the Devil is in the Details.”
So sure, imagining Me in an IRL convo with My Bestie about this article – and the fact that it’s a topic of verbal discussion is important to notice, because I only verbalize things that ping or trigger My SB – I can only discuss My thoughts Conceptually.
If We – Me & My Bestie – are both Parents w/ this-sized Children in grade school, or daycare, or whatever – that’s when My Answers start to change. Now? All bets are off – now there is an IRL situation to deal with. Maybe My Bestie is this DA Letterwriter, with this exact same situation IRL, and is asking Me for advice. Asking Me “what I should do, if I was Them and this was My Kid.”
She – My Bestie, here – is asking Me for My help to figure this out. She’s asking for My emotional *Support.*
. . .
Conner’s Comments: Not every Human Being can ‘do’ Support to another Human Being, no matter how Connected They are to that OP, or “how much I Love Them!” Just like not Everybody can walk & chew gum at the same time. But every HB does have the potential to give Another Person this type of Support. But – from what I’ve seen – most Folks make the Rookie mistake of telling their SB “I can’t do that… it’s just not Who I Am.” And whatever Seeds You Plant for Your Own SB, DR? Your SB gets immediately to work, manifesting that Reality for You in the External World. smh
And because I know blanks drive TECH crazy when trying to do Madlibs, I’ll give You an idea of what I might try if this is My Kid, IRL. First, I sit Him down, hug Him, and tell Him: “It’s all gonna be okay, Honey.” Then, I would ask Him how He felt when the Bully Kid hit him, because My Kid has to learn to use his words to express the NEC out of His Physical Body. [N: Kids that never learn this grow up to be Adults that can’t do it.. which causes chaos] Then, I’d give My Kid a relevant example from this Kid’s own Life: “Honey, what do I do when You are kicking & screaming & mad as anything?” If He can’t remember, I remind Him: “I give You a big hug. I hold You very tightly until You calm down.” Pause here and there, to let the Kid process the data. “And when I hug You, do You feel better?” Let the Kid answer this question alone. [N: if the answer is anything but Yes, You have more work to do, Mom]
“Well, when You are at school and this Bully Kid comes up to start sh#t with You? Don’t be scared. Don’t run. Don’t cry. Face Him, and ask Him this: David! Do You need a Friend? Do You need a hug right now? Whatever You need? I’ll give it to You. Right here. Right now.” [N: if this BK is hitting My Kid, then that means My Son has mutual consent to hug Him. Plant a wet kiss on His cheek. Whatever distracts this BK… and taking an action the OP doesn’t expect Me to take always distracts Them loll]
And one more thing: This trick works best if it is executed immediately after the unwanted behavior happens. You wait too long? It becomes much harder to correct. Just FYI.
Good luck!
/CR