You know, I wonder sometimes what Life – Conceptually – is supposed to be “All About.” Why & I even here? Especially considering lots of stuff I’ve Experienced IRL totally sucks?
And… that’s not the question I should be asking Myself, in all honesty. Why? *checked Notes* It’s a TECH question.
PASSION be like, “Who Cares?!” *skipping along My merry path* “I only care about Myself!?! Everyone Else is on Their Own! I am the only Boss of Myself, not those Other People!”
And this makes Me pause, internally, because this isn’t just PASSION speaking. It’s actually both of Them. This is My now, in-Current-Day, more Equalized answer to the question.
Trying to think really hard, lemme see if I can carve out an exclusively PASSION-esque answer, DR.
“Who Cares?! I’ve been completely f#cked by My Family until now, so Imma f#ck Everybody Else up, too. Because I’m f#cking hurting – and the People that were supposed to Love Me? Didn’t.”
Dammit. Nope.. this is also an Equalized answer.
And here’s the Point, DR. Just because I am focusing on Equalization doesn’t automatically mean “everything’s peachy-keen.” It doesn’t mean I’ve “figured Everything out.” It definitely doesn’t mean “I have all the Answers to the World’s problems.”
What it means is this:
It means that – come hell or high water – I’m not ignoring any part of Myself. I’m not suppressing Anybody’s unmet needs. I’m not trying to “logically explain away” why I feel this or that or the other thing.
To co-opt one of Society’s labels for My Own purposes? To Me, it’s about Self-Respect.
*mental grenade explodes*
Being present, with Myself, in every single moment & in every single situation I happen to be in right now – regardless of whether it’s “Good” or “Bad” – keeps Me better equipped, better prepared to deal with… Anything. Because “Anything is Possible.”
And I like being ready.
. . .
Conner’s Comments: I believe – this is Me, personally, based on My Own History – that the Reason I cannot give a pure PASSION answer is because the data in My mental Files only gives Me examples of PASSION recovering from trauma. And when PASSION is trying to self-soothe from IRL traumatic Experiences? PASSION goes into a Rabbit Hole, sometimes for years. I’ve made it out of these RHs enough to function, clearly, but I just want You to know DR, that it is possible to get through this tunnel. Just, don’t stop the train. That’s a Rookie mistake.