No, I’m not talking about the Cool Kid’s birthday party, or the posh Gentleman’s Club – none of that pedestrian stuff.
I’m talking about Your SB, DR. Inside Your head, right there. Next to You. Like… a Next-Door Neighbor. [N: the One You get along with loll] Or a Lover, lying next to You in bed after leaning over & kissing You on the cheek – and wishing You “good night.”
A single kiss on the cheek can literally destroy a Star, TBH.
There’s a reason We have that saying, “Truth Hurts” – and You know what? I know this firsthand, IRL. It does hurt!?! But Who does it hurt, exactly?
Well – and this is My guess – it hurts TECH, primarily. TECH is the one Who is trying to acquire – and use – all the “Right” data with which I can successfully move around through Space & Time. Believing this data is accurate makes TECH ‘feel’ very secure.
Okay, okay. I know I probably just triggered You just now, DR, because of the use of the words “feel” and “TECH” in the same sentence. “Isn’t feelings a PASSION thing, Conner!??”
Yes. But…
Lemme see if I can explain this so You can get My drift. [N: drift = meaning, for the Young Folks]
The first time any Experience happens? TECH opens a File. Depending on the “severity” of that virgin experience – either “Very Good” or “Very Bad” on the “PASSION feelings & emotions” spectrum? The data – now, “a Memory” to PASSION – gets ‘locked in’ [N: Y, just like being a Contestant on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire] the Files. The more this event happens IRL – “repetition of” – the more TECH collects the data… and the more PASSION is traumatized, maybe.
After a couple times – at least twice, but definitely three times is all I need to Experience to “lock it in” – now TECH will use this data to evaluate “what is the Truth to Me, IRL.” Essentially, the more the data is collected? The more TECH buys into PASSION’s perspective… AKA “the more TECH is Influenced by PASSION.”
Here’s an Example.
Most Folks have “Good” IRL Family Experiences. They become full-fledged Adults, They go off to live Their Own healthy & happy Lives, and They re-Connect, periodically, with Mom & Dad, Siblings, and so forth because They possess a “Family” File that is stuffed with positive IRL Experience data.
Me? Yeah, No.
I had a mostly sh#tty IRL Family Experience. Can I “change it?” Nope – that’s against the Rules of this Game. And yet, some of those ripples still reach My shores, to this day. Sometimes? I know the ripple is headed My way, and TECH can ‘prepare’ for it. Other times? I get taken completely by surprise. Totally unaware… until PASSION bursts into tears.
I just needed one Seed, Planted by any Other Person, to give TECH “New” data so I could eventually resolve the variance of what Conceptual Family data tells Me, and how IRL Experience Family data conflicted with that understanding.
I still struggle, here & there. Sometimes.
But recognize this detail here: I am now, in Current Day, an Adult-sized Human Being. Imagine Me now, as a Child, carrying this luggage. Carrying it all by Myself. Alone.
My guess? This is Why We see – Society sees – more Children offing themselves in this World: They are being buried by the heavy emotional bags They are forced to carry. Sure, TECH does the air-quotes ‘Appropriate’ & external things to make Me feel better, and I tell Myself, “I did everything I could,” -or- “I did everything humanly possible” but the fact is? I didn’t. I just wanna believe I did, because it makes Me feel better. [N: I’m lying, to Myself]
Being a “find the silver lining in every cloud” sort of Guy, I thank My lucky stars I was born when I was – before the Internet, before the global “Checking Out” of all the Adults in the Room, that seem to be “okay” with their Children dying left & right – because I know for a fact – rather, I Believe this personal Truth:
I would not be Alive, Now, to tell You about it.
. . .
Conner’s Comments: I’ve learned – mostly through Trial & Error, sure – but I’ve learned how to pace Myself. “How do You eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” Eating, here = ripping off the other 4 Guys’ blindfolds & revealing “the Big Picture” – something I’ve gotta be careful with. And elephant’s foot can still crush My skull, if I stick My head underneath it.
I don’t advocate using this method. Why? Because “It Hurts.”