Ahhh, there it is! The word “should” – a total TECH tell.
. . .
This Story is about a Buddy of Mines. Let’s call Him… Matthew. I’ve known Matt for going on 3 decades now. Matt is a Doctor by trade. [N: No, DR, not “My” doctor loll]
Matt has regaled Me over the years with, “crazy Patient behaviors” which, “I Love a Good Story” so I am here for it, and 2) it’s how I can be a Support Person to Matt, who juggles a lot of balls in the air – You know, that Life-and-Death stuff. Not an easy gig, if You ask Me.
Listening to these Stories, I always notice a common thread: Matt prioritizes the Human Being in front of Him. Always. It *tells Me* that He is an Excellent Doctor as well as a “Good Human Being”… even though He’s not My doc, specifically, I can piece together the clues for TECH to do an air-quotes ‘unbiased’ evaluation.
Imagining being Matt’s Patient for a minute – and He having to give Me data of “My Own imminent DOD” – PASSION adds the details of how this particular episode would go.
Matt: “Ok! The results of the tests came back blah blah blah [N: PASSION doesn’t care about all this crap in between] and,” *pause*
What You don’t see here, DR? Matt is making eye-to-eye contact with Me right now. He is hooking into PASSION, specifically. Why? Because as soon as TECH acquires this new data – this new, potentially traumatic data – Matt is ready to catch the egg before it falls outta the nest.
Imagining Myself as this Patient? I can totally Trust Dr. Matt. [N: In comparison, My current PCP is closer to the “Sh#tty Person” side of the spectrum, so Imma keep looking for My Doctor Person… but that’s Another Story for Another day] I know – using My Own IRL Experience – that having a Doctor I trust is like having a Therapist I trust, or a Teacher I trust, or – literally – any Other Person that I Trust. While sure, once the Meet Cute happens I start from the Trust position, the Other Person’s behavior will inform My SB if I remain in this position. *Spoiler Alert!* You’re only gonna get one shot, DR.
But back to My Story.
Where was I? Oh yeah, right before the other shoe drops.
Matt: “I’m sooo, so sorry to tell You, Conner: Blah blah blah – and, it’s terminal.”
PASSION checked out just now, for a few seconds. [N: seconds IRL = an eternity for PASSION. kinda like visiting Narnia]
TECH takes over from here: “How long do I got, Doc?”
And TECH busily scribbles that mental data down on the notepad, for filing away later. Also, to recall when I get to the “Tell My Loved Ones” part of the Story.
This part of My Story, DR? This part hasn’t been written, yet.
. . .
Conner’s Comments: I read an article in the not so distant past, about some Girl – Imma guess, “Youngish Adult” – that Her Doctor not only told her She was “gonna die” but also that “there is no hope.” Wow, what a Sh#tty Person!?! And so the article that was being written was how this Girl was opting for Euthanasia. [N: euthanasia = lost My will to Live. A Pearl-Clutcher’s way to describe offing Myself]
The details of this Girl’s Story included “a boyfriend” and “two cats.” It was the mention of the cats that triggered PASSION, and I ended up emailing the Author of that article, asking Him to forward a message to this Girl. I forget exactly what I said, but I know it had to do with Planting Seeds: This Doc is a f#cking moron & don’t listen to him, You have Connections IRL – the boyfriend & that cats – and how Her situation resonated for Me personally: having a chronic disease that can kill Me at any time, plus She is the only Boss of Herself. Or… something to that effect.
I hope PASSION hears Me. I don’t have Proof – and never searched for any, anyways. So not having Proof of the outcome? Imma just believe in the best case scenario. I ‘see’ You, Little Girl across the Universe. I see You. And I Love You. Keep going… You are still in the tunnel. Come out on this side, and stand next to Me. I’m waiting for You. xo