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Category: Welcome to My World

“Know Thy Enemy”

Posted on by Conner Romesco

The necessary Context: TECH’s evaluation of My one month of Design Team Service.

Before I paid My $64 dollars for My one month of Design Team help with My website stuff? I “called a Friend.” IRL. To “ask for help putting My website together” AKA building this Frankenstein’s Monster. [N: He was a good target because He’s a techy-Engineer-esque Guy]

He declined My request.

And.. I get it. I didn’t like the rejection, sure, but hey! I bid is a bid: No obligation to consent. What’s unfortunate is He actively refused the opportunity to Support Me – even just to tell Me “Everything’s Gonna Be Okay” and that He had faith in Me, keep Him posted on My progress, etc. etc. – but nope. None of that. It was just a “Nope” and slamming the hypothetical door shut.

It’s a Rookie mistake.

Because what He doesn’t realize, by giving Me zero support, here, is that this one piece of IRL mutual Experience data? It has a negative impact on Our (His & MInes) interpersonal relationship. It’s like dying a white shirt black: one splash of dye will change the color of the entire shirt. Maybe I’ll ask Him for help again, in the Future. Maybe I won’t. “It All just Depends.”

But back to My Story.

The Design Team. Oh Yes. Overally? I’d say they get a passing grade. [N: in any IRL situation? It’s easier for Me to just do “pass” or “fail”] The Proof: My website is currently Live – Frankenstein’s Monster is happily running around, terrorizing the local Villagers. “Yayy, Me!”

The month began very ‘hit & miss’ with Me not knowing the “website-building language” to articulate My needs, what I was trying to do, what I needed My website to do, etc. etc. as well as Me not understanding the Design Team sandbox [N: the DT’s ‘Area of Responsibility’] But let’s first jump into My dislikes.

Dislikes: Each call limited to 25 mins, and if I don’t get finished in that amount of time? I call back and talk to a completely new Human Being. Being asked on the call to “give Me 5s” on the survey following the phone call. And… talking to Me like I’m Stupid.

Restricting the call to 25 mins is very short-sighted, IMO, because I’ll just keep calling over & over infinity. Which – depending on how far I get with each Person – I hafta repeat the Story from the beginning, which is super inefficient. And aggravates TECH. The Bosses think that restricting to the 25 mins means “when I call, I don’t hafta wait so long to talk to Somebody” but You know what that tells Me? They haven’t hired enough staff for this role. And making Me hold the bag for it. Being forced to call again, every 25 mins, and start over, is like sitting at a restaurant for a meal, where I get a new waitress every 25 mins… and I just got through explaining My order to the first waitress, and now I hafta do it again with the next one.

On the topic of “asking Me to rate You 5s” – because more than one Person verbalized this, it makes Me believe They get bonused somehow for 5s – and maybe also have punitive repercussions for anything less than 5s. Which, uggh! But – and this is a big butt – verbally asking Me to rate You 5s at the end, when You haven’t actually “helped” Me do anything yet – or even at the end of the call – aggravates My SB. [N: I’m guessing, PASSION] It’s like I already paid the bill to stay at this hotel, and You brought My luggage up to My room, dropped My bag on the floor – I heard something break inside My bag – and now You hold Your hand out for a tip?!? The asking is very self-gratuitous.

So what did I do? After much trial-an-error – talking to a bunch of DT People and ‘learning’ what not to do when I call – I started the call with an Elevator Speech: [N: following the GoTo meeting set up, screen sharing, etc]

“Hi Jesse/Ian/Bhea/Chris/Chester/Lesly/Mario/Nerizza/Charles/Feleejo!”

“Ok! I want You to know: I’m a Newbie, so You’re gonna hafta dumb things down for Me. Also: I will rate You 5s at the end, but if I ask You for something & You don’t know how to do it? Tell Me You don’t know how to do it. I’ll just call back. It’s okay.”

The Why: I want Them to know that getting a 5 rating is not contingent on Them helping Me with the task I need help with… so the pressure is now Off. What I am rating Them on is 1) not d#cking Me around & lying to Me and telling Me they know how to do something that They do Not, 2) not talking down to Me because They know everything & I know nothing, and 3) speaking in a way that Influences Their Own SB to treat Me like “a Real Human Being” and not just a Caller. Or a Number.

I find – when I started the call with My Elevator Speech – I got better results because now? The DT Person I was talking with could relax! They could really listen to Me, and try to understand the question I was asking (despite Me not knowing ‘Their’ language). And I think – My guess – is that My doing so motivated that Other Person to try all that much harder to help Me.

Win-f#cking-Win.

. . .

Conner’s Comments: Did I hafta hang up a few times on a few people? Sure. Sometimes They just “rubbed Me the wrong way” -or- “triggered-an-already-frustrated-TECH” -or- just gave Me the gut-feeling that They were emotionally “checked out.” I’m not gonna beg anyone to help Me, ever. I’m gonna give You one shot, and if You blow it? I’m done.

But when You give Me Your Everything? Your All? Your.. respect for Me, as a fellow Human Being?

Imma fall in love with You.

“If I Was A Girl…”

Posted on by Conner Romesco

Okay, okay. Sure, I’m not a physical girl. But! I’ve Connected with a lot of women in My Life – from Mom through various G/Fs and Nuns at church and Teachers and so on – that TECH has acquired quite a bit of Conceptual data on the subject by now.

TECH’s overall assessment? “Being a Girl Totally Sucks!”

And because of TECH’s overwhelming amount of data in My mental Files -and this data then being used by PASSION to imagine being a Girl IRL – Conscious Me [N: primarily Influenced by the overwhelming amount of data] “being a physical Girl puts Me at a disadvantage” Imma say, definitively: “Don’t sign Me up for this.”

You know, I totally get why any Human Being would want to transition to the gender of Their Own choice. I can “see” the Why, if I were in their shoes. I just don’t agree that – for Me, personally – it would be the right move. Dude! Have You seen what general Society does to women? They get completely, literally f#cked, most of the time and in most situations! Girls do the same job as Guys, but get paid less. Girls hafta carry the load of baking up New Human Beings in their literal bodies regardless of Her Own preferences to the condition of pregnancy! Even if – *clutches Pearls* – I get f#cked by some Man!?! [N: AKA raped] And speaking of offspring, if I don’t end up pregnant, I still get punished, having to Experience the f#cking rag every month, for literal decades of My Life!

“F###CKKKK MEEEE!!” [N: TECH sees nothing enjoyable about any of this]

Yeah, from My POV, being a Girl mostly sucks. But – as a Guy – I have total male privilege. I don’t hafta deal with any of this BS. I get to live “a charmed Life” when it’s all said and done. And holding all these aces can completely turn Me into a Complete @$$hole & Sh#tty Person… if I don’t pay attention.

So? I’ve learned to pay attention.

I notice the details, observing all the Women in My Life… from the very first breath all the way up through Current Day. Living with a Single Mom & 4 other Siblings? I go to school & come home & do My homework & when it’s time for bed, I brush My teeth, turn out the lights & jump underneath the covers. Who cooked that yummy Dinner I ate earlier? And the dessert? [N: dessert is My favorite part of any meal, FYI] Who pays the bills so that the shower water keeps running, that the lights keep turning on when I flip the switch, Who washes My clothes & My favorite cuddly stuffed animal & My sheets & blankets? While We are talking about it, Who fills the gas tank of the car so I can be driven to school every day? [N: I like school, BTW. I learn a lot of cool stuff there, I love My Teachers, etc. etc.]

And now – In Hindsight, where I learn most of My lessons & important sh#t – I now know the Answers to all of these questions.

But as a Kid, benefiting from all these things? I thought I knew: “it’s magic, of course!” And that’s the answer I scribbled in the blank of the MadLibs, using My purple crayon. And over time – the progression of My physical Life – I would change these answers – scratch out ‘magic’ and fill in “better” answers based on IRL Experience data. And then even later in the Story than that – becoming a Dad Myself – I scribbled out the answers again, and changed them. Again. Over and over, to infinity.

And every step of the way – every newly scribbled out answer and rewriting in a new one – a mental grenade went off in My SB. It’s these mental grenades that force Me – the Blind Guy – to keep moving, feeling My way around the Elephant. Learning. “Gaining new perspective.” And – if I notice the details – use that data to tweak My Own behavior. For a better result. A better marriage. A better Family Life. A better…

You fill in the blank, DR. It’s Your MadLibs You are playing here.

. . .

Conner’s Comments: I don’t expect a Child to have this Adult-sized perspective, not when They are a Child. Why? Because this Kid – this fresh-outta-the-box New Human Being – lacks enough “necessary & critical” data in TECH’s Files, in the Invisible Library. It’s My job – as this Kid’s Parent – to give Them the right Conceptual data [N: ideas] and carefully curated Experience data so by the time They reach Adulthood? They can fly – happily, safely, self-sufficiently – outta the nest. And be… “okay” without Me there, right next to Them. That’s My job, as the Parent. According to Me loll.

“Be a Friendly Stranger”

Posted on by Conner Romesco

I’m speaking, DR, but not to You technically. Not to You, DR, per se. You just happen to be standing in this room next to Me. Or across from Me. Or way over there, on the way other side, with a hundred or so Other People between Us.

Me? I am the woman in the red dress. [N: I’ll give You a million fake dollars if You can guess where that reference comes from]

If You are Connected with Me – You can see Me, You can hear Me, even in just passing – then We are Connected. Don’t think We aren’t. If You sneeze, and I hear it? Imma immediately look up, lock eyes with You, smile, and say “bless You!” with as much excitement as I can muster up in that moment. Why? Because – according to Me & My own mental data – that’s what “a Friendly Stranger” does. That’s how a FS behaves. That’s how a FS acts.

And that’s My goal, as I move through Time & Space, open to the possibilities. Wondering… Who will I meet when I turn this corner? Or that corner? Who will I Connect with? Who will Connect with Me?

Will it be at the grocery store, in line at the cashier, Me standing in front of that harried Mom holding & bouncing a baby on Her hip as Her 2-year old Daughter screams Her little lungs out? [N: the Kid wants that toy clutched in Her fat little fist] Will that Mom’s eyes meet mine, briefly – like a bee visiting from flower to flower, or a butterfly even – sending Me a bid for emotional Support?

And when Our eyes meet – Hers & Mines – will I give that Support freely? Will I smile at Her? But not a “I wanna f#ck You, I think You’re hot” smile… a “I’m a Parent too, and I’ve dealt with exactly this Experience You are dealing with right now, in this exact moment” smile. When it’s the latter? Imma probably tell Her – depending on the Context of the situation We find ourselves in – that “It’s All Gonna Be Okay.” I promise.

You are gonna be okay. No matter what’s going on in Your Own Life right now, which I don’t know about… and I’m not asking about. But TBH? Knowing all these details are irrelevant. I’ll probably never cross paths with You again. Think about it. I lose My actual Friends at Disneyland during Grad Night… I’m certainly never gonna cross paths with this One Human Being frazzled Mom in the entire World! DUh!

So Imma make this one single moment – this one mutual IRL Experience event that We – She & I – are sharing right now, count. [N: yes, that’s Why the saying “Making it Count” was thought up]

Imma leave You in better condition than I found You, Sweetheart. Imma play doctor, and “Do No Harm” to You. Here, in this one moment. I’m gonna warm Your heart. Imma be the lighthouse on the cliff, sending out My beams of light far & wide, across the vast ocean, signaling to boats who have lost their way, or need a rest, or just need to walk on some solid ground for just a f#cking minute.

I’m going to create a Safe Space for You, Lady, here, and now. So You can catch Your breath. So You know – You have Proof – that You aren’t alone.

I’m right here in this room with You.

Just look for the woman in the red dress.

. . .

Conner’s Comments: I Plant this Seed for Myself on the daily, every time I leave My house. As a reminder. As a mantra. A reminder that Everyone I come into contact with – every Other Person who crosses My path – They are being tormented by Something. It’s UNKN to Me, sure. It might even be UNKN to Them right now… but their SB knows, 100% Guaranteed.

The details don’t matter. Not according to PASSION, at least. In My “Friendly Stranger” File? The Rule is to always “Prioritize the Relationship.” And let the chips fall where they may. And speaking of PASSION! It was PASSION speaking, technically. Not ‘Me.’ I lied loll.

/CR

“Who Is Speaking Right Now?”

Posted on by Conner Romesco

TECH: “Attention, attention Class! Class is Now in Session.”

I start with this line, DR, to “prime the pump.” I make a few assumptions right off the bat – I ‘know’ You’ve attended school for probably multiple years – so these specific words in this specific order is designed to ‘trigger’ Your SB to recall Your Own IRL Experiences of “going to school.” And – most importantly, from My POV – what “going to school” feels like, to You, personally.

Now, I want You to know something about this trick: I’m taking a huge risk, here. Sure, I’m trying to get Your mind in the same “space” as this Story I’m about to tell You, but also – depending on the images I trigger for Your unique SB, based on all the acquired data in Your mental Files, to date – this is a double-edged sword: If I throw a dart & pop the air-quotes ‘Wrong’ balloon? You’ll get triggered in a negative way… and I’ve lost My Audience.

So, Me? I’ve practiced Story-telling enough that I am very “aware” and “intentional” about the Pandora’s box I’m about to open. What will pop out of Your box? Monsters? Realization? Resonation? Will You get dopamine jolts? Or will You jump into the nearest Rabbit Hole to self-soothe, rocking back & forth with Your eyes sealed shut? It’s a mixed bag, and “Anything is Possible.”

But – and this is a big butt – Imma chance it, because even though the boo-boo underneath might have some lingering pain? I still gotta rip the band-aid off. The skin has healed over on the top level by now, and so I gotta move to the next level: what I can do to heal Your heart. Your insides. Your internal space.

But back to My Story.

I haven’t yet finished My PASSION vs. TECH sub-menu page – I’m working on it! I’ll get to it! “Timing is Everything!” Back OFF, TECH!?! – but while Your SB is waiting [N: patiently, Patiently… see here? Planting a Seed for You, DR loll] Imma give You the First Rule of “Other Person” interacting:

Figure out Who is Speaking Right Now.

Now, TECH? TECH is usually juggling a lot of To-Do’s in the air and wants to immediately jump to The Bottom Line. When it’s info & process data? It’s usually TECH. If it’s an interpersonal relationship? It’s usually PASSION. [N: I use the word ‘usually’ to convey that these Answers are Not “100% of the time” but rather, “most of the time”]

But this is easiest to figure out on Myself, because I have Everyone in My Own head. Everyone is here, in My Own internal space. Basically, I know Who is invited to My party, when it’s My Own SB.

When it comes to any Other Person? It starts to get… trickier. “It Just Depends,” eh?

But let Me Plant an Important Seed right here for You, DR: It’s Not Impossible to figure out.

Let this sink in for a minute, DR.

Most Folks tell themselves – I’ve firsthand witnessed this, heard it, Experienced it, etc. etc. – “I just can’t figure You out!?!” These Poor Unfortunate Souls are making a Rookie mistake here. They are “Setting Themselves up for Failure.” These ‘limited thinking Human Beings’ are Planting a Seed for Their Own Subconscious Brain… and what is My SB designed to do? Manifest it. IRL. [N: DUh! It’s so obvious!?!]

It’s not My SB’s job to figure out if the Seed being Planted – by Me or Anyone Else – is ‘Good’ or ‘Bad’ yet. That’s Conscious Me’s job to make the Executive Decision – CM is the ‘Executive’ in this Context – to accept/allow this Seed to remain, or to reject it AKA “banish the Seed to the cornfield.” [N: the cornfield = the Gray Matter]

But the ability to do this is in the later classes. We are in 1st grade right now, here in this Story.

Back to My Story, again. [N: because I keep going off on a tangent. This happens to PASSION a lot loll]

Oh yes! Other People, “figure out Who is Speaking..” – I remember! *snaps fingers*

Both sides of My SB have their own “tells.” Once You start seeing them, DR? You can’t unsee them. [N: Trust Me on this, but gather Your Own IRL data using the OP in Your Herd]

PASSION’s tells: Eye contact. Smiling, but with teeth. Smiling, with skin around eyes crinkling up. Laughing. Big gestures. Hugging. High, high energy… but not always seen in externally executed behaviors. PASSION can be present, but totally undercover. “Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing,” as it were. Whenever the OP says, “My Gut” tells Me something? This is PASSION.

TECH tells: Data-acquisition driven. Uses Auto-Pilot in order to “get more sh#t done” all at once. [N: to TECH, this is “efficiency”… which is fine, to a point] Ask questions, but gets aggravated by PDA, emotional outbursts, anything “feelings” or “emotions”-related. These things make TECH… uncomfortable. This discomfort makes TECH sometimes appear as “cold” to Other People. Overly serious. Matter-of-fact. Seeks Proof for stuff. Seeks Who to blame for stuff. Uses words like “should” and “appropriate” a lot.

I’ll give You much, much more on P & T as We go along, DR, but that’s enough for today. If You can figure out – AKA “notice the external behavior” and “put two & two together”- which Perspective is Speaking out of the Physical Body of the Other Person in front of You right now? You know Who’s running the Show at the moment. [N: and Who is speaking changes on a dime, even in the same conversation/discussion FYI]

If You can figure out Who is Speaking? You can formulate a better way of responding. You can figure out “how to handle it.”

Good luck.

/CR

THOUGHT EXERCISE: “Increasing One’s Awareness”

Posted on by Conner Romesco

A Thought Exercise – according to Me, since I just made it up – is when I do any random external behavior that triggers an internal response in My SB: If You repeat the external behavior as I describe here, DR, it should trigger a corresponding AKA similar internal response in Your Own SB. That’s My theory, anyways.

In the silverware drawer of My kitchen, I have one of those organizational things that You put the silverware in – a spot for the knives, forks, spoons, etc. But also – for Me, personally – I have more sub-categories of this organization: the steak knives go in this spot, while the butter knives go over here. The big forks & the small forks – they technically go in the same spot, but they don’t go the same way – the tines of the big forks face the top while the tines of the smaller forks face the bottom. And so forth and so on.

Now: I toss the ball in Your court, DR.

Go to the kitchen where You live. Maybe You live alone, maybe with Your Wife & Kids, or a Roommate, or Your Sister… it’s irrelevant Who specifically.

Open the silverware drawer.

Take the forks out of their dedicated spot, and switch the location of these forks with any other utensils ‘spot’ – don’t make it too drastic, though. It’s better if You just do a side-by-side right-next-to switch.

Okay! So let’s say I’ve swapped the butter knives with the steak knives. [N: You do Your Own switch with whatev] Now, this is KEY:

Close the drawer & walk away.

If You stare at the new organization too long, TECH will get wise & You’ll spoil the experiment. Walk away, and go about Your business, whatever You were doing right before You did this – watching TV, playing a video game, drinking a cup of coffee while mentally preparing to start Your work day, whatev – and if You weren’t doing something arleady that You can go back to? Start doing something right now: go for a walk, go outside to have a smoke or pick up the dog poop in the backyard because You know the Gardeners are coming today, go get the mail from the mailbox, etc. etc.

Here’s what I want You to pay attention to, DR. [N: technically, this instruction is for Your SB. TECH is busily scribbling mental Notes right now, as We speak]

The “going back to what I was doing” or “starting something New” is how My SB gets distracted. I juggle a lot of balls, constantly – like a Good Clown – so it’s easy to “forget what I came into this room for.” And what We just did is pretty low on the radar, so it’s easy to “forget.”

And Life goes on, I’m doing this or that, TECH is busily doing My To-Do’s, whatever My calendar says I should be doing for the day.

. . .

Later – when You randomly open the silverware drawer, probably at dinnertime, or lunchtime, or whenever You got hungry & went to the kitchen for a snack, DR – pay attention to how You feel in that exact moment.

Whatever You feel is Your SB. This variance – something in My external environment that is variant/different to all of the Historical AKA previously acquired data in the “silverware” File – is gonna ping Your SB.

The goal here is to 1) identify the feeling. 2) notice what external event caused the pinging in Your SB. 3) track the acquired data on an ongoing basis. [N: meaning, every time You return to the silverware drawer & visually open it, TECH is adding the data of every time You execute this behavior to the mental Files]

All of these are TECH functions, in terms of “filing, managing, & organizing” data.

Don’t immediately try to diagnose the Culprit – “oh, this is TECH!” -or- “this is PASSION!” because that’s a later class. Baby steps, DR. Baby steps.

Feelings first. Evaluation of the feelings, later.

Good Luck.

/CR

“It’s a Feature, Not a Bug”

Posted on by Conner Romesco

Imma tackle that Elephant in the room – the overwhelming creature that ‘Everyone’ is trying to ignore. This Elephant has a Name:

“The Why.”

It’s every Elephant-in-the-Room’s name. Once I know the Name of this specific Elephant? He’s not so scary to Me. So after dealing with a couple Elephants already, TECH knows to immediately set to work – when dealing with a New Elephant – to uncover the Pony in the pile of sh#t. [N: the Pony = The Why]

If You’ve been following Me through a few of My Stories, DR? You are already adding data to Your Own mental File labeled “Conner.” So far? Maybe these tales resonated strongly for You… or maybe? Your TECH is still “acquiring data” because You don’t know what to make of Me,  yet. [N: either result is Right/Allowed/Correct]

But here’s a little more of The Why I want You “to know.”

  1. I’m changing all the names, to “protect the innocent.” This isn’t Historical documents, or tax forms, or receipts. This is Storytelling – and the plot of the Story is usually a Lesson [N: AKA The Money Shot] and not “Who IRL did/said X.” The IRL details are irrelevant, IMO.
  • I’m using Hypothetical Scenarios that are intended to resonate with the greatest majority of Conceptual Folks. This means I will use a HS of “frying up bacon for breakfast” versus “explaining how to do a convoluted Calculus problem,” because My guess is more Folks “out there” can identify AKA “relate to” bacon versus Calculus.
  • I’m trying to get Your SB “on My side,” DR.

I am trying to do a bunch of things at once; akin to a Clown at the Circus, juggling a bunch of balls in the air for Your – the Audience’s – entertainment. I want Your attention, and I will do “amazing & never-before-seen things” to get it.

“There’s a Method to My Madness.” This saying applies here.

How do You Trust Me, DR? Well, here’s some of the criteria I use when considering whether to trust any Other Person:

  1. “What’s in it for Them?” Sure, I can only see the top of that iceberg, but usually if I don’t see any velociraptors standing on the top of the ice, I assume there are no velociraptors hanging on to the bottom, ‘under the water line.’ [N: IRL mutual Experience data gathered with You ‘tells’ Me if I can continue to Trust You or not]
  • “Is Their Actions consistent with Their Words?” This is easy to “Prove” in that One’s external behavior Never Lies.
  • I recognize that at any moment the data ‘can change.’ [N: Historical data doesn’t change – what happened already is in the past. What I mean when I say “can change” means newly acquired data ‘is variant to’ the previously acquired data in the Files]

This third one is KEY. Sh#t happens, amiright? I acquire New data about Everything – about “stuff” and about “Other People I’m Connected with” on a daily basis. And I’ve trained TECH to Not suppress/ignore any of this data… but – in the interest of “establishing Equilibrium” – I also make sure TECH doesn’t try and suppress PASSION. PASSION is “My gut,” after all.

I Trust PASSION most of all.

“It’s My Disguise”

Posted on by Conner Romesco

Why do I need a disguise, You wonder DR? Here’s Why.

“I need a disguise to protect Myself from those Other People – IRL or Conceptual – Who would cause Me harm.”

If I Trust You, DR? The drawbridge to My castle – My Sanctuary – is down. For Everybody Else? Not only is the drawbridge shut – locked up tight, maybe nailed shut, even – but also there are jaw-snapping crocodiles & hungry, toothy piranha fish swimming in circles all around in the murky moat. [N: They are My Friends – I toss in some Kitty Kibble for them to munch on, every so often]

[N: this manifests IRL as Me, never leaving My house, seeing Human Beings unless I have to venture out – for groceries, drugs, doc appts, singing at church on Sunday, walking the dogs I’m currently fostering, etc. etc. – not because I’m any sort of “shut-in” or “recluse” or “monster”… it’s because I have “a lot on My mind” loll]

You may be Connected with Me IRL, DR, or maybe You just got lost one day, and found Me, here in this Virtual place. It’s irrelevant how We got Connected to Each Other, IMO. I’m sure there’s a reason – the Universe’s reason, and usually those reasons are UNKN to Me, personally. But You are here, now, Connected with Me in this moment… so Imma ask You for a bid.

“Don’t blow My cover.” Please.

And if You accept My bid – and there are No Guarantees that You will; You are not obligated to do anything I say because “You are the Only Boss of You” – then I’ll reveal a bit more about Myself for Your mental “Conner R” File.

*Spoiler Alert!* I’m an @$$hole. No, really – I don’t take what any Other Person says “at face value” because there is always more. There’s more to the Story. And this OP could be lying to Me. I’m not a Mindreader!? [N: not Yet, anyways *wink, wink*]

Now, I Love a good Story – it’s probably Why I enjoy Connecting with Other Human Beings so often – and I will always try to fill in any Madlibs blanks with as much IRL Experience data as possible. But – and this is a big butt – when I don’t have access to this OP’s internal data? Either They don’t Trust Me yet, or They are lying to Me? Imma fill in the blanks with My best guess, or “the best case scenario.” That is, until this particular OP “proves Me wrong” through My Own observation of Their Own behavior in any mutual Experience event We – Me & Them – share together. Because if there’s one thing I’m pretty good at now? Smelling bull$h#t a mile away. [N: bullsh#t = inauthenticity] And once I get a whiff of BS? Imma take My toys and go home. DUh!! “See ya.”

Thinking more about it, maybe the label “@$$hole” is too strong a word. How ‘bout… Rule-breaker? Boat rocker? Boundary-tester? All of these work, too, for Me.

Here’s the tagline that I have on My email addy right now:

“The Smartest Crazy Person You’ve Never Met.”

/CR

“Letting Sleeping Dogs Lie”

Posted on by Conner Romesco

**In Full Disclosure:** I won’t always give You the Context, DR… You & Your SB can apply Your Own Context to this Story. It’s like playing Madlibs – how You fill in the blanks makes a better AKA funnier AKA more interesting Story, amiright?? And I am a big proponent of “You Figure it Out!”

No, I don’t think You “are Stupid.” To Me personally? It’s unfair to label Anyone as Stupid. Why? Because Everyone is missing some necessary data. Or Context. Or… Experience. So comparing Me to any Other Person – apples to oranges – what gives Me the right to call You Stupid, DR, just because We – You & Me – don’t have the exact same data in Our mental Files? So calling You “Stupid” only makes Me look “close-minded” -or- “unaware” -or- “stuck in a Rabbit Hole.” Which, I usually try to avoid all of these things. [N: I’m getting better at it, the more I practice]

This Story has to do with Me in any situation where I am Connected in this exact moment with any OP. We – Me & Them – are having a discussion. A “meeting of the minds” as it were. All discussions – from My Experience – start out as Conceptual… and depending on how the chat evolves, then incorporates Someone’s Experience data. Here’s an Example:

Me: “A new Indian food restaurant just opened up in the mall…”

You: “Oh yeah! I was there last week; I’ve been there a hundred times! Great food… very authentic!”

Me: *TECH acquiring data as the OP shares data about this Indian restaurant*

You: “We should go! You’ll Love it!”

Now, stop right here. This – THIS – is KEY. The OP is Planting a Seed, here. Assuming They are in My Herd, They’ve already acquired Historical data, about Me – My likes, dislikes, etc. – in the Personnel File. So, verbalizing that I’m gonna “Love” this Indian restaurant is a guess. But also… it Plants a Seed for My SB. “Primes the pump,” basically.

Now, let’s rewind this interaction from the beginning, DR. I want You to ‘see’ how “Anything is Possible” in terms of how things can go with Other People. But Imma switch up the People in this Hypothetical Scenario: Now, it’s Me who is the One who is speaking first.

Me: “A new Indian food restaurant just opened up in the mall… It has great food! We should go!”

The OP: “Bleah! I *hate* Indian food!! I once ate this dish -blah blah blah – it was gross, I wanted to vomit -blah blah…” [N: the “blah blah’s” here mean that the details don’t matter: The Details – in this instance – are irrelevant. Now, if this was a Food Critic’s blog? Sure, the details would be relevant loll]

At the point I get this response from this OP? Now, I am at an Inflection Point. An Inflection Point is such that I can make – Conscious Me, makes – the decision on which path to pursue… each path achieving a different result.

Here’s a few choices, and their associated results.

  1. “You Dumb@$$! Indian food is da bomb! You don’t know what You are talking about!?!” The result is “I’m damaging My interpersonal relationship with this OP. But, as always,”It Depends” – if I say this while I’m laughing? The OP knows I’m being funny AKA joking. If I say it very seriously, but I am agitated/upset? The OP knows They just triggered Me.
  2. “I totally get it. That does sound gross! But…”

And I Plant A Seed. I “leave the door open.” I leave the Story “unfinished” in this OP’s SB. I can say something like this:

“If You ever wanna try it, We can go together… I’ll let You take a bite of My favorite dish…” I pause a few seconds.

And then I jump – immediately – to a different subject.

[N: this is called “Distraction” – talking about Indian food just now was painful for this OP, due to Their Own IRL Experience of “having that gross meal that one time.” I Plant the Seed to leave the door open for maybe a Future oppty to “try Indian Food again” and then I use any other verbal statement to redirect this OP’s attention… just like leading a dog on a leash: The dog goes where I want the dog to go]

. . .

Conner’s Comments: As with any TECH process, You must be careful, DR, to withhold any evaluation based on “not enough data in the Files.” It’s like getting a Child to try new foods: If You only feed the Kid mashed potatoes one time – and for whatever reason the Kid doesn’t “like” it texture/flavor/not enough salt, etc. etc. – You better Plant a Seed that tells this Kid’s TECH to “just try it three times” and that’s “all You have to do”… Otherwise? You are raising a picky Kid, which will become a picky Adult & have issues Connecting with Other People from an interpersonal relationship perspective. Just a tip.

/CR

“My Love Letter to You, DR”

Posted on by Conner Romesco

Do You realize, DR, that We (You & Me) are Connected right now? Virtually, sure, but We are still Connected, Conceptually, IRL. And – If You continue reading this Story – I want You to know something Key: You are giving Me Your consent to enter Your Own SB.

And what will I be doing there, You ask? Well, in this particular Story, *Spoiler Alert!* Imma set off a few mental grenades. Here’s the first one:

“You Already Have Everything You Need.”

And here’s Why paying attention to the Context always matters. You might be sitting there, distracted by whatev, and reading this Story here, and when You see those words strung together in that particular order? TECH immediately jumps up to say the following:

“Bullsh#t, Conner! I most certainly do Not have “everything I need!?!” There’s a lot of sh#t I don’t have right now! Money, a job, a home, any Friends, Family, etc. etc. You f#cker! You don’t know Me!!” *grrrrrrrrr, rowr, hisssss, snap-crackle-pop*

[N: breathe! Breathe… keep breathing. lemme finish pls]

Here comes what I refer to as “The relevant Context.”

Every Story You read here will do one of two things. One? Some detail will resonate for You, DR, in Your Own SB. Or two… it will Plant a Seed for You.

Any Human Being You verbally talk to, any movie You watch, book You read – all those activities Plant Seeds for Your SB. And those Seeds? Super important. Seeds are what My Subconscious Brain ‘eats.’ Just like pizza & tacos keep My Physical Body alive? These Seeds keep My SB alive. These Seeds give Me ideas. They change My Own Perspective. And true – sometimes they hurt. [N: “growing pains”]

Either of these two results? Accurate. Correct. “Functioning as designed.” And No, sometimes You aren’t gonna ‘like’ it. But liking isn’t promised, in anything IRL.

But here’s Why I wanted to write You this Love Letter, DR, and that is to tell You a secret:

“There. Is. No. Test.”

But whether or not You, personally, are killing this level of The Game – or completely crashing & burning in Current Day [N: like a phoenix] – everything You see? Everything You do?  Everything You feel/dream/Experience? It’s all by design. Seriously. And No, I know that sounds very ‘Bible-Thumper’-esque, but please don’t label Me in Your SB as such. [N: it’s totally not accurate]

One last thing: All these Stories where revealed to Me – My guess, here – because I Experienced a sh#tload of trauma in My Life already. But not just that I Experienced it: I Survived it. I didn’t succeed in offing Myself – although I did try once or twice – and because I’m still here? I believe the Universe rewarded Me. “Threw Me a bone,” as it were. So what am I gonna do now? Imma leave My Own mark on this External World. Because I wanna be… remembered. I wanna believe My Life means something, here, now, and will continue to mean something long after I’ve leveled up.

My guess? “Being Remembered” is what every Human Being wants. IMO

/CR

“My SB: The Prerequisite Class”

Posted on by Conner Romesco

Generally, here’s how stuff goes, DR.

External events happen around/near Me that instantaneously plants data into My Gray Matter. [N: think Gray Matter = the cornfield]

TECH is basically the Farmer, who harvests this corn – uhh, data – and takes it back to The Invisible Library, where TECH sorts/organizes/creates Files for this data. More on what happens after, later.

While all this is happening, PASSION is simultaneously recording Memories, to which all My associated feelings/emotions are attached to each Memory in the mental Files. If it’s a good Memory with good feelings attached to it? PASSION can then recall the Memory & “relive the good feelings” attached to that data. If the Memory is bad – has negative feelings attached to it in the form of pain, trauma, etc. – then that Negative Emotional Content (NEC) can potentially get buried internally, if Conscious Me doesn’t allow that NEC to be expressed out of My Physical Body. [N: in some cases, Conscious Me isn’t even aware of the NEC – and unexpressed NEC will f#ck PASSION up for years afterwards, until Conscious Me gets a clue and starts poking around to dig the Pony out of the pile of sh#t that it’s currently buried under]

The data that TECH initially harvests can be Conceptual data, IRL Experience data, or both. Comparing apples to oranges: IRL Experience data always trumps Conceptual data, in most cases. This is because I can only gain understanding through Conceptual data, whereas I “learn the Lesson” through firsthand Experience data.

. . .

Conner’s Comments: This should get You started, DR. Every other Story You read here will give You insight into various sides of the proverbial Elephant.

/CR