Stream of CONSCIOUSNESS

Otherwise, why am I wasting My time here?!? loll

But let’s start from the very beginning… “a very good place to start…” [N: thank You JA!]

The necessary Context: The Devil is in The Details.

Would I ever come out and say this verbally to You, DR? Hell No. I try not to project all My moves like that – it’s likely just to trigger You AKA shut Your SB down to Me, anyways. So yeah, I don’t actively try to make My own job harder.

Who’s talking here? TECH is. And the clue is in the intent of the words: “change” and “You.” TECH loves to Boss Other People around. These two words used in any sentence – no matter the length of it – are “fighting words.” Meaning, these words are designed – AKA ‘meant to’ – to trigger. But sometimes – because PASSION is being suppressed at the moment – TECH is oblivious to the OP’s NEC. [N: NEC – Negative Emotional Content] Which is a total Rookie mistake.

My goal – with every Human Being I Connect with IRL – is to change Them. I try to Influence. I Plant Seeds. I model certain behaviors I am trying to “teach” Them to copy… without coming out & slapping Them across the face with “My Own Knowledge & Genius.” [N: that was TECH just now.. and even typing those words in this Story rankles PASSION – I may edit it out later loll]

There seems to be some ridiculous idea out in Current Day Society that We – when I Connect with You and You Connect with Me – that We are supposed to just “accept Each Other right outta the box,” just as I come. Which, IMO is stupid. And close-minded. If this were the case, then every Child born to Mankind would be a biting, spoiled, selfish little “Lord of the Flies” psycho! And that leaves us with “the inmates are running the asylum” now.

But, it gets tricky when You are no longer dealing with a Child, amiright? Once I turn 18 years old, You, DR, are Not The Boss of MEEEE! But, We still gotta play nicely in this sandbox. So how does that work?

That saying, “You can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar,” [N: or whatever] applies here.

If You break down My behavior all the way down into the individual details, You’ll realize I’m not such a prick after all. But You hafta look under the water line to get that data, because it’s all right here in My Own SB… which is not accessible to You, DR. [N: My SB is not accessible to Anybody]

You are You, in terms of Your Identity. “The Person You Want to Be” which changes, minute by minute as TECH acquires more external data. You wanna be a Superhero and save kittens from trees? Do it. You wanna be The Smartest Person in the Room? Do that. Or even… “a Pearl-Clutcher?” I don’t hafta like it, I don’t hafta endorse it, I am not the One who needs to change it, if it needs changing. Who decides this? The Boss.

And *Spoiler Alert!* the Boss is… You. You do You, DR.

Now, let’s get on to the matter at hand. What do You think is the purpose of going to 1^st grade & “making Friends?” Or starting to date Other People? Or even carrying on any conversation with Anybody walking around next to Me on this rock? And No, the answer isn’t “for No Reason.” [N: that’s a TECH answer]

And the reason this is a TECH answer is because if until and only ‘if’ TECH gets the IRL Experience data – talks to Folks, spends time doing stuff with Folks, etc. etc. – until TECH acquires this data? It does Not exist in My mental Files. Until I acquire Experience data with specific Other People in My Own physical-slash-real Life? The data remains Conceptual. And Conceptual data is always “not Real” to Me. No Concept is real to Me.. until I have Experience data to ‘flesh it out.’ Until I have Experience data to “bring the Concept to Life.” To add the colors, flavors, smells, sounds, etc.

It’s like being a Child & learning about “falling in Love” and “happily ever after.” It’s all fine & good to have the Concepts in the Files, but until this Kid grows up & actually Falls in Love? With an actual living, breathing, other Human Being?

“Nowwwwww, I totally get it!”

. . .

Conner’s Comments: PASSION’s mission is to Connect, find My Herd. TECH’s mission is to make a right or a left on the road I’m traveling… if I always go left? TECH wants to keep going that direction, because “going left gets Me to the desired destination.” That’s Why I focus My energies on Equilibrium – PASSION: “let’s go right for a change! Anything is Possible – so let’s see what happens?” I only started really paying attention to PASSION’s needs & desires & wishes, when I started thinking, “There’s just gotta be more than this…”

There Is more, DR. But I had to start moving in a different direction to discover it.

Good luck.

/CR

The necessary Context: TECH’s evaluation of My one month of Design Team Service.

Before I paid My $64 dollars for My one month of Design Team help with My website stuff? I “called a Friend.” IRL. To “ask for help putting My website together” AKA building this Frankenstein’s Monster. [N: He was a good target because He’s a techy-Engineer-esque Guy]

He declined My request.

And.. I get it. I didn’t like the rejection, sure, but hey! I bid is a bid: No obligation to consent. What’s unfortunate is He actively refused the opportunity to Support Me – even just to tell Me “Everything’s Gonna Be Okay” and that He had faith in Me, keep Him posted on My progress, etc. etc. – but nope. None of that. It was just a “Nope” and slamming the hypothetical door shut.

It’s a Rookie mistake.

Because what He doesn’t realize, by giving Me zero support, here, is that this one piece of IRL mutual Experience data? It has a negative impact on Our (His & MInes) interpersonal relationship. It’s like dying a white shirt black: one splash of dye will change the color of the entire shirt. Maybe I’ll ask Him for help again, in the Future. Maybe I won’t. “It All just Depends.”

But back to My Story.

The Design Team. Oh Yes. Overally? I’d say they get a passing grade. [N: in any IRL situation? It’s easier for Me to just do “pass” or “fail”] The Proof: My website is currently Live – Frankenstein’s Monster is happily running around, terrorizing the local Villagers. “Yayy, Me!”

The month began very ‘hit & miss’ with Me not knowing the “website-building language” to articulate My needs, what I was trying to do, what I needed My website to do, etc. etc. as well as Me not understanding the Design Team sandbox [N: the DT’s ‘Area of Responsibility’] But let’s first jump into My dislikes.

Dislikes: Each call limited to 25 mins, and if I don’t get finished in that amount of time? I call back and talk to a completely new Human Being. Being asked on the call to “give Me 5s” on the survey following the phone call. And… talking to Me like I’m Stupid.

Restricting the call to 25 mins is very short-sighted, IMO, because I’ll just keep calling over & over infinity. Which – depending on how far I get with each Person – I hafta repeat the Story from the beginning, which is super inefficient. And aggravates TECH. The Bosses think that restricting to the 25 mins means “when I call, I don’t hafta wait so long to talk to Somebody” but You know what that tells Me? They haven’t hired enough staff for this role. And making Me hold the bag for it. Being forced to call again, every 25 mins, and start over, is like sitting at a restaurant for a meal, where I get a new waitress every 25 mins… and I just got through explaining My order to the first waitress, and now I hafta do it again with the next one.

On the topic of “asking Me to rate You 5s” – because more than one Person verbalized this, it makes Me believe They get bonused somehow for 5s – and maybe also have punitive repercussions for anything less than 5s. Which, uggh! But – and this is a big butt – verbally asking Me to rate You 5s at the end, when You haven’t actually “helped” Me do anything yet – or even at the end of the call – aggravates My SB. [N: I’m guessing, PASSION] It’s like I already paid the bill to stay at this hotel, and You brought My luggage up to My room, dropped My bag on the floor – I heard something break inside My bag – and now You hold Your hand out for a tip?!? The asking is very self-gratuitous.

So what did I do? After much trial-an-error – talking to a bunch of DT People and ‘learning’ what not to do when I call – I started the call with an Elevator Speech: [N: following the GoTo meeting set up, screen sharing, etc]

“Hi Jesse/Ian/Bhea/Chris/Chester/Lesly/Mario/Nerizza/Charles/Feleejo!”

“Ok! I want You to know: I’m a Newbie, so You’re gonna hafta dumb things down for Me. Also: I will rate You 5s at the end, but if I ask You for something & You don’t know how to do it? Tell Me You don’t know how to do it. I’ll just call back. It’s okay.”

The Why: I want Them to know that getting a 5 rating is not contingent on Them helping Me with the task I need help with… so the pressure is now Off. What I am rating Them on is 1) not d#cking Me around & lying to Me and telling Me they know how to do something that They do Not, 2) not talking down to Me because They know everything & I know nothing, and 3) speaking in a way that Influences Their Own SB to treat Me like “a Real Human Being” and not just a Caller. Or a Number.

I find – when I started the call with My Elevator Speech – I got better results because now? The DT Person I was talking with could relax! They could really listen to Me, and try to understand the question I was asking (despite Me not knowing ‘Their’ language). And I think – My guess – is that My doing so motivated that Other Person to try all that much harder to help Me.

Win-f#cking-Win.

. . .

Conner’s Comments: Did I hafta hang up a few times on a few people? Sure. Sometimes They just “rubbed Me the wrong way” -or- “triggered-an-already-frustrated-TECH” -or- just gave Me the gut-feeling that They were emotionally “checked out.” I’m not gonna beg anyone to help Me, ever. I’m gonna give You one shot, and if You blow it? I’m done.

But when You give Me Your Everything? Your All? Your.. respect for Me, as a fellow Human Being?

Imma fall in love with You.

Okay, okay. Sure, I’m not a physical girl. But! I’ve Connected with a lot of women in My Life – from Mom through various G/Fs and Nuns at church and Teachers and so on – that TECH has acquired quite a bit of Conceptual data on the subject by now.

TECH’s overall assessment? “Being a Girl Totally Sucks!”

And because of TECH’s overwhelming amount of data in My mental Files -and this data then being used by PASSION to imagine being a Girl IRL – Conscious Me [N: primarily Influenced by the overwhelming amount of data] “being a physical Girl puts Me at a disadvantage” Imma say, definitively: “Don’t sign Me up for this.”

You know, I totally get why any Human Being would want to transition to the gender of Their Own choice. I can “see” the Why, if I were in their shoes. I just don’t agree that – for Me, personally – it would be the right move. Dude! Have You seen what general Society does to women? They get completely, literally f#cked, most of the time and in most situations! Girls do the same job as Guys, but get paid less. Girls hafta carry the load of baking up New Human Beings in their literal bodies regardless of Her Own preferences to the condition of pregnancy! Even if – *clutches Pearls* – I get f#cked by some Man!?! [N: AKA raped] And speaking of offspring, if I don’t end up pregnant, I still get punished, having to Experience the f#cking rag every month, for literal decades of My Life!

“F###CKKKK MEEEE!!” [N: TECH sees nothing enjoyable about any of this]

Yeah, from My POV, being a Girl mostly sucks. But – as a Guy – I have total male privilege. I don’t hafta deal with any of this BS. I get to live “a charmed Life” when it’s all said and done. And holding all these aces can completely turn Me into a Complete @$$hole & Sh#tty Person… if I don’t pay attention.

So? I’ve learned to pay attention.

I notice the details, observing all the Women in My Life… from the very first breath all the way up through Current Day. Living with a Single Mom & 4 other Siblings? I go to school & come home & do My homework & when it’s time for bed, I brush My teeth, turn out the lights & jump underneath the covers. Who cooked that yummy Dinner I ate earlier? And the dessert? [N: dessert is My favorite part of any meal, FYI] Who pays the bills so that the shower water keeps running, that the lights keep turning on when I flip the switch, Who washes My clothes & My favorite cuddly stuffed animal & My sheets & blankets? While We are talking about it, Who fills the gas tank of the car so I can be driven to school every day? [N: I like school, BTW. I learn a lot of cool stuff there, I love My Teachers, etc. etc.]

And now – In Hindsight, where I learn most of My lessons & important sh#t – I now know the Answers to all of these questions.

But as a Kid, benefiting from all these things? I thought I knew: “it’s magic, of course!” And that’s the answer I scribbled in the blank of the MadLibs, using My purple crayon. And over time – the progression of My physical Life – I would change these answers – scratch out ‘magic’ and fill in “better” answers based on IRL Experience data. And then even later in the Story than that – becoming a Dad Myself – I scribbled out the answers again, and changed them. Again. Over and over, to infinity.

And every step of the way – every newly scribbled out answer and rewriting in a new one – a mental grenade went off in My SB. It’s these mental grenades that force Me – the Blind Guy – to keep moving, feeling My way around the Elephant. Learning. “Gaining new perspective.” And – if I notice the details – use that data to tweak My Own behavior. For a better result. A better marriage. A better Family Life. A better…

You fill in the blank, DR. It’s Your MadLibs You are playing here.

. . .

Conner’s Comments: I don’t expect a Child to have this Adult-sized perspective, not when They are a Child. Why? Because this Kid – this fresh-outta-the-box New Human Being – lacks enough “necessary & critical” data in TECH’s Files, in the Invisible Library. It’s My job – as this Kid’s Parent – to give Them the right Conceptual data [N: ideas] and carefully curated Experience data so by the time They reach Adulthood? They can fly – happily, safely, self-sufficiently – outta the nest. And be… “okay” without Me there, right next to Them. That’s My job, as the Parent. According to Me loll.

Imma guess, DR, just reading this headline probably triggers You. Why? Because simply typing those two words together like that? It triggers Me, too.

Who gets triggered? TECH. Because TECH is the one who wants to dictate to the literal World “how You should behave” in a functional Society. “If You just do exactly as I say, at All Times, Nobody gets hurt.” DUh!

This is TECH’s POV. Specifically, TECH “in a vacuum’s” POV. TECH – probably suppressing PASSION at this moment – and displaying a complete lack of Equilibrium.

But today’s Story isn’t about any of those details. [N: Another Story for Another day loll] Today’s Story is about… wait for it… “Auto-Pilot.”

*mic drop*

I probably just triggered You again. But just wait a minute. I promise, You’ll acquire some New data here. [N: My guess]

Auto-Pilot isn’t actually ‘Bad’ – it’s like Jessica Rabbit: “I’m not bad – I’m just drawn that way.” Auto-Pilot is perceived as Bad because of My Own Historical data: Since My SB focuses more on negative incidents over positive incidents – and I totally ‘get’ it – naturally when I recall Auto-Pilot Imma focus on all the times using A-P f#cked Me up. Makes perfect sense.

I will be telling more Stories in the Future about Auto-Pilot – that’s a huge Elephant to walk around – but this Story is mostly to piece out the Reply All situation.

Immediately, when I see the Reply All words? I think “Work.” [N: You’re Right!] And then I think about those zillion emails I get in My Inbox – which may or may not have anything to do with Me, specifically – because I am added to this or that distro List in My job. [N: still Right!] Which right off the bat already annoys/aggravates TECH, who is trying to get sh#t done and “too many emails” are distracting from the task at hand.

Then – because I can’t stop the deluge of emails – I start My Work day in Auto-Pilot.

Auto-Pilot is what’s “grabbing the wheel of the car” when TECH doesn’t need to “think” or process the How of driving the car. After I’ve learned to drive – and actually driven a couple times – TECH is like, *snaps fingers* “Got it!” And A-P takes over with the technically driving of the car… allowing TECH to now focus on Navigation: where am I going? How much time do I have to get there? TECH handles all of this junk – the schedule, the tools, etc. etc. [N: in this Hypothetical Scenario, the car itself – the machinery – is the tool used to “get there”]

So back to email. Because it takes TECH way too much time to go through every single email &  “figure out if this is a) important, b) relevant to Me, or c) contains some task I need to take care of”.. TECH hands that job off to Auto-Pilot. Because “if it’s important”? I’ll hear about it again, sooner or later, from My Boss or whoever. [N: this is literally the Boss’s job: to make sure the sh#t gets done]

Now, lemme tell You something about email, DR: My SB “doesn’t care” who is cc;ed – one Other Person or a hundred OP, it makes no difference to Me – because “I only care about Myself” in most cases. [N: other stuff & Other People I *do* care about? The Exception to this Rule]

And since TECH’s usual procedure for “getting an email” is to respond as quickly as humanly possible – so I can continue on with My day & My Life – Imma peripherally ‘see’ the cc:s, click “Reply All” [N: because knowing the Why all these Other People are cc:ed on this email is above My pay grade AKA “I don’t care”] and type My response to the question. And click “Send.”

Boom! Done. [N: TECH can now “move on”]

And if I am the First Replyer All of this email? I will now Influence all the Other Replyers after Me to also Reply All… because those Folks are also using Auto-Pilot.

Now, I’ve learned a few tricks of how to manage My Inbox. After the first couple times of getting any particular kind of new message, TECH reviews it closely to piece out how it affects Me, personally. If the email is FYI-esque? TECH creates a Rule to send Future emails with this Subject line to the Trash. If I get emails from another part of the company because I’m cc:ed as part of “The Billing Team” but the content has zero to do with executing My actual job on a day-to-day basis? Rule. Trash. If I get those emails that solicit for Catastrophic Requests for Me to donate My PTO to a Needy Someone? If I never have a huge PTO balance – I use My PTO the second I earn it – Imma create a Rule & send those emails to the Trash. Not because I’m “an unfeeling Monster” of that Needy Someone’s circumstances… but because I can’t do anything to help Them in this Context. [N: I never have any PTO to give away] Because in My Own Life: I have My Own needs that I am filling, using My PTO. I don’t have the luxury – or desire – to save My PTO up just to give it away to a Needy Someone. In My Own Life? I Myself am the ‘Needy Someone.’ loll

Yeah, I totally went off on a tangent there. But listen: I don’t hit Reply All & Send because I’m “stupid” or “I don’t know any better.” I hit Reply All because I have too many balls to juggle. I hit Reply All because TECH is trying to maximize My efficiency – AKA to “Not waste My Time” as much as possible, because I have a job to do here. And this job I do? It pays Me the dollars I need to buy food & keep the lights on.

“I Only Care About Myself.”

. . .

Conner’s Comments: A Future Story will tackle specifically why My Work struggles to get their phishing percentage down. *Spoiler Alert!* it also involves A-P.

It sounds like a Good thing, right? “Different than the crowd?” Flying above the riff-raff? The string – plucked on the harp that gives off the most intense vibrations & resonation – is what I am supposed to always aspire for? That’s what all the air-quotes ‘Experts’ say?

Well, not so fast, DR. I know I sound like a broken record by now, but… *Spoiler Alert!*… “It All Just f#cking Depends!?!”

And see what I did there just now? I inserted the word “F#ck” right smack dab in the middle of this unsuspecting, minding-its-own-business GvR. Why? To focus Your attention, DR, on what I’m about to say next.

[N: I start cussing when PASSION feels very strongly about the topic, either one way or the other way: Extremely happy? Extremely pi$$ed off? Yeah, You’ll be hearing some version of ‘f#ck’ come outta My mouth, sooner or later]

In this Hypothetical Situation, what does “It” depend on, exactly? Well, it could be a zillion random details – where the Devil is – but the first place I’ve learned to look? What’s the Context? Followed closely by, “what am I, personally, after here? What’s My goal? What’s the unmet need I’m trying to fill?”

Ahhh.. I’m starting to see that pesky Devil, loll. [N: TDiiTD]

This is one time – the Exception to the Rule, maybe? – that whether it’s Good or it’s Bad to get noticed in this particular situation weighs heavily on Me “seeing the clues” and acting accordingly. If I miss the clues & just move willy-nilly? I’m probably gonna get hurt. Or cause chaos. Or blow something up, emotionally speaking. [N: all these are Bad results, FYI]

Lemme give You some examples, DR, to make this Concept a bit more digestable.

When I am a Child – i.e. having zero say or control in what happens to Me, zero control over what I wear/eat/when I sleep/when I can play, etc. – then getting “noticed” gets Me punished, most of the time. So in this case? Getting noticed = Bad.

If I am a New Adult Person, now just jumped into the Dating World & I’m looking for “My First Boyfriend” – pretend I’m a chick in this case – then of course I wanna stand out above the rest of the Bachelor Contestants… I wanna score that Final Rose! Winning, either the Guy or the Prize = Good!

When I am a New Employee – and wanna make a Good Impression on My Boss(es) – then getting noticed gets Me recognition. Or permission to do Special Projects. Or more money.

And here’s where the Devil jumps out: The Good & The Bad? “Changes on a f#cking Dime.”

Or… it takes Forever. “It Just Depends.”

Trying to Connect with Other People – AKA “date” – is all fine & good… until You hook up with a murdering psycho. Or a Stalker at church – and now You hafta go to court to get a restraining order to keep Him away from You.

Doing “more than expected” or “thinking outside the box” at Work only “works” if You have a healthy environment to work in. [N: healthy = Not toxic] And I can accept a transfer to a new office, “for My Own reasons” [N: My goal, My unmet needs, etc. etc.] and when I get there find out that all My Bosses fear Me & are threatened by Me – and they pull out all the stops to make Me so miserable I have no choice but to quit.

But the example I wanna dig into here? Being a Child with zero control. That’s the one that pings My SB the strongest. That’s the one that plucking the harp string makes the most sound.

When I was a Child – being constantly chased by alligators inside My Own house – I knew I was “Different:” What made Me different? My Family made Me different: I didn’t have the Brady Bunch, where Moms & Dads “loved & cared for their Children.” I had the literal opposite of this ideal. And yet, I had zero say in being there. I felt trapped. I felt imprisoned. I wished all these Other People were dead. I wished I was dead! But this was before any Conceptual Child in the World’s SB thought up the idea to kill themselves to escape a toxic Family… and here We are, now. [N: it was also just before the Internet was invented, so not seeing 24/7 visuals of News and sh#t is probably the primary reason I’m still here/alive right now]

I took a coffee break just now, while writing this Story. I intended to go another direction, but the Universe has its way… so now I’m changing My direction a bit loll.

Imma let You in on a little secret, DR: It isn’t possible for PASSION to *not* think about killing Myself to escape a Bad situation. TECH might want that to be True, but that’s not how PASSION is designed to function. Me? I can count the exact times throughout the History of My Own Life so far when I seriously considered offing Myself. And while I made 1 attempted – and failed – those Experiences gave Me valuable data for My mental Files. [N: No, I’m not advocating You try killing Yourself, DR – I trust Your SB to be able to piece out My meaning with this discussion]

Playing Devil’s Advocate – AKA answering TECH’s obvious question – if PASSION won’t stop thinking about killing Myself, what happens next?

And this – THIS, here, exactly This – is the Lesson: If I can’t stop PASSION’s feelings about Something? Change the Something that’s causing PASSION’s feelings.

And Yes, I was a fresh-outta-the-box Newly Adult Person when I learned this one. I was on My proverbial “Own” at the time. Did I wanna change My Something? Hell No. Changing things takes work. Takes effort. Takes energy. “It’s a total drag!”

And this is where Conscious Me faced an inflection point: I can either keep moving forward, or I can stop playing this Game here. Now. “Weighing the options.” And I made the Executive Decision to keep moving forward. It was the hardest thing I ever decided, by far, now looking at it In Hindsight.

I decided – after that first failed attempt – that I would never, ever, EVER again give Any Other Person the power to make Me give up My Own Life. Never. No matter how hard things got. No matter how much I wanted to stick My head in the sand. No matter how much I felt like “giving up.”

PASSION is totally stubborn like that loll.

. . .

Conner’s Comments: In Hindsight, I now realize that My mission – as a Child stuck in a completely toxic Family – was to do one thing: Survive. Survive this Something – survive this situation – and at My first opportunity? Get the f#ck out. And that’s how My Story was written… I ran away from home on My 18^th birthday, in the dead of night, taxied by My Bestie at the time… whose family gave Me refuge for the next couple years. A Safe Space I was not afforded by My Own Family.

I could finally breathe, again. I could finally jump out of the nest & fly.

“Watch what I do next.”

I’m speaking, DR, but not to You technically. Not to You, DR, per se. You just happen to be standing in this room next to Me. Or across from Me. Or way over there, on the way other side, with a hundred or so Other People between Us.

Me? I am the woman in the red dress. [N: I’ll give You a million fake dollars if You can guess where that reference comes from]

If You are Connected with Me – You can see Me, You can hear Me, even in just passing – then We are Connected. Don’t think We aren’t. If You sneeze, and I hear it? Imma immediately look up, lock eyes with You, smile, and say “bless You!” with as much excitement as I can muster up in that moment. Why? Because – according to Me & My own mental data – that’s what “a Friendly Stranger” does. That’s how a FS behaves. That’s how a FS acts.

And that’s My goal, as I move through Time & Space, open to the possibilities. Wondering… Who will I meet when I turn this corner? Or that corner? Who will I Connect with? Who will Connect with Me?

Will it be at the grocery store, in line at the cashier, Me standing in front of that harried Mom holding & bouncing a baby on Her hip as Her 2-year old Daughter screams Her little lungs out? [N: the Kid wants that toy clutched in Her fat little fist] Will that Mom’s eyes meet mine, briefly – like a bee visiting from flower to flower, or a butterfly even – sending Me a bid for emotional Support?

And when Our eyes meet – Hers & Mines – will I give that Support freely? Will I smile at Her? But not a “I wanna f#ck You, I think You’re hot” smile… a “I’m a Parent too, and I’ve dealt with exactly this Experience You are dealing with right now, in this exact moment” smile. When it’s the latter? Imma probably tell Her – depending on the Context of the situation We find ourselves in – that “It’s All Gonna Be Okay.” I promise.

You are gonna be okay. No matter what’s going on in Your Own Life right now, which I don’t know about… and I’m not asking about. But TBH? Knowing all these details are irrelevant. I’ll probably never cross paths with You again. Think about it. I lose My actual Friends at Disneyland during Grad Night… I’m certainly never gonna cross paths with this One Human Being frazzled Mom in the entire World! DUh!

So Imma make this one single moment – this one mutual IRL Experience event that We – She & I – are sharing right now, count. [N: yes, that’s Why the saying “Making it Count” was thought up]

Imma leave You in better condition than I found You, Sweetheart. Imma play doctor, and “Do No Harm” to You. Here, in this one moment. I’m gonna warm Your heart. Imma be the lighthouse on the cliff, sending out My beams of light far & wide, across the vast ocean, signaling to boats who have lost their way, or need a rest, or just need to walk on some solid ground for just a f#cking minute.

I’m going to create a Safe Space for You, Lady, here, and now. So You can catch Your breath. So You know – You have Proof – that You aren’t alone.

I’m right here in this room with You.

Just look for the woman in the red dress.

. . .

Conner’s Comments: I Plant this Seed for Myself on the daily, every time I leave My house. As a reminder. As a mantra. A reminder that Everyone I come into contact with – every Other Person who crosses My path – They are being tormented by Something. It’s UNKN to Me, sure. It might even be UNKN to Them right now… but their SB knows, 100% Guaranteed.

The details don’t matter. Not according to PASSION, at least. In My “Friendly Stranger” File? The Rule is to always “Prioritize the Relationship.” And let the chips fall where they may. And speaking of PASSION! It was PASSION speaking, technically. Not ‘Me.’ I lied loll.

/CR